Old joke: giving up smoking is easy, I’ve done it hundreds of times
The observant of you will have noticed that I have gone for several posts without mentioning any politics. There is a good reason for this: I am not interested. The debate is now so ridiculous that I can’t get my teeth into it. It turns out that the phrase “jumping the shark” was coined in a more innocent era. These days nobody seems to even care how utterly obviously unreal their narrative is. Watching the discussion on Her Majesty’s pre-election re-launch last night confirmed my total lack of engagement. Politics must seem terribly interesting to those inside the echo chamber but to those of us on the outside it just looks bloody ridiculous. Why did not the Queen announce a bill to require motherhood and apple pie while she was at it? I would vote for a party that promised 24/7 ecstatic happiness for all by 2020. I would go out and campaign for the eight-hours-of-sunshine-a-day party. Where’s the party promising two pubs on every corner and three decent sleeps a week?
No, for the time being I am outta it. I reckon I could keep my readership more satisfied with Tales of the Unexpected Bowel Movement than by commenting on the daily load of old politics. But never fear, dear hard-pressed readers, for I am not about to delete myself. Now while I would not normally blog about blogging* I feel compelled to announce the publication 63rd Edition of the Revised Behind Blue Eyes Subject-Matter Policy. But not just yet. Scroll down if you can’t wait until I’ve finished this bit.
* well that’s a lie
You really all come here because you want to peer into my head, frown, point, laugh a bit and then feel better about yourself. I know this because when I write about my personality defects the ratings go off the chart. In the month since I went over to this shiny new setup, the site has been whacked six thousand times. Loser-blogging supplies this site with readers and that keeps me from sitting in the corner at home crying about being a loser. I am no Beck.
So in you look, and what do you see? I do not go out of my way to get to know people. I do not do ice-breaking. I do not network or work the room. I do not sell myself. Why? Because there are not very many people who I like. I find polite conversation for its own sake interminable. Life’s too short. If I had to write a top list of people I want to interact with there would be on it my immediate family at the top. Then there would be a small number of people who I have latched onto over the years who I try to keep close, the people who I pester to meet me in the pub or come around for dinner. Then there would be a lorra lorra blank space.
One of the people on my hypothetical top list (I don’t actually have one scrawled in green ink, covered in scribbled amendments which nudge up against my theory of everything, stuffed in a drawer at home, honest) sent me this message the other day and I hope he won’t mind me reproducing it:
…your more personal posts are head and shoulders above the others… such as politics
The message also included some faff which leads me to think that the author was probably rolling around drunk on a sticky pub floor when he wrote it but hey you take your compliments where you find them. So with enormously over-egged fanfare, I am pleased to announce the 63rd Edition of the Revised Behind Blue Eyes Subject-Matter Policy:
I will write about whatever I damned-well fancy
It is bollocks, it’s utter bollocks, you’re right, it is utter, utter bollocks, congratulations! Fancy a drink some time?
Great post, great point. Show your vulnerability on your blog and your readership climbs; show it in the context of your life and the jackals close in. One thing politicians avoid above all is showing their vulnerability, and people like yourself – and myself – are disengaging because it’s gone past the tipping-point where narrative can still be credible. I believe – and I really do believe this – that a person can learn more of lasting worth by reading a dozen personality-based blogs on a daily basis than engaging with politics. Onwards and upwards, BE.
Steven – of coursem, but don’t you live a long time ago in a far away place?
Mark – you won’t learn anything here but then there is no nutritional value in candy floss either…
“I will write about whatever I damned-well fancy”
/applauds
Cheers Julia!
Great post, and damn you for beating me to it.
An excellent policy which I heartily commend.
Oddly, in enunciating it, you have managed to put across an excellent critique of the current style of government…
)
Plenty of folk out there banging on about Brownie et al so write what you wish,you write well. I am reducing the frequency of my rants as it ends up just sounding bitter when in fact I am more than content with my lot.
You’re right of course, and political blogs are becoming a bit tedious after being hijacked by trolls and other empty heads!
I seem to remember in your previous life, you came out with some pretty funny stuff too, and that’s a good bet any time!
I’d be a bit fed up if you left my list anyway!
Scrobs! I had forgotten that many of my most loyal readers were here before the beginning! Thanks for wading through some of the rubbish to stay true…
I don’t remember any funny stuff, though.
Good for you Blue., I enjoy your new style!
I agree with Scrob’s points that ‘political blogs are becoming a bit tedious, after being highjacked by trolls and other empty heads’.
Guido’s blog is good for exposing the shenanigans of the ‘Untoucables’, ie her Majesty’s Government; but his relentless pursuit of honesty and truth is futile, as, even when the cretins are exposed, they wriggle and lie to cover up their transgressions and nine times out of ten get away with it.
Not wishing to sound like Mary Whitehouse, I particularly loathe the disgusting and obscene comments made by the ‘paid’ mafia of NuLbab Trolls, who churn out their filth and abuse on Guido’s site….For god’s sake, we, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of these so called ‘Spads’.
His site has become dirty little boys’ comic.
Therefore, in protest, I am deleting it from my favourites!
If that is Politics, I too, am out of it!
Di.x
Well said
Write about anything you fancy. You’ve a good eye for it.
Thanks EK
Good for you, Blue.
I hope you don’t mind me openly admitting it was me that sent you that message, and proudly stand by it. I also hope you don’t mind me poking my nose in in the first place.
Finally, I would like to state for the record that I was stone cold sober and in sound mind – or at least as sound as it ever is. If you printed the full message I’d still be just as happy to stand by it.
So there…
Area you technophobe, all comments to this blog get pinged to me by email. Yours don’t. Please explain.
Oh, and thanks for the faff